Common Problems Faced By Interracial Couples and Ways to Solve Them

Building and maintaining a healthy relationship can be challenging. It’s always difficult for two different persons upholding different values and having different outlooks on life to learn to reach a compromise, sacrifice, and attend to each other’s needs in relationship. Still, what can be even more difficult is maintaining an interracial relationship, where a partner has to reconcile not only their preferences and desires, but also beliefs, traditions, and even ethnicities with those of their significant other. Experts note that there are common mistakes made by mixed-race couples which may eventually lead to the decay of their relationship. If you want to spare yourself (and your partner) unnecessary fighting, argument, and damaged nerve cells, we suggest that you heed our warnings and avoid making the mistakes we’ll be discussing below.

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Different Value Systems

Different value systems act as an apple of discord in any relationships, let along romantic and marital relationships. If what matters a great deal to your partner doesn’t matter to you at all, your relationship is doomed to failure.

Let’s imagine the situation, where an American woman Catherine is married to Mohammed, an immigrant from an Arabic background. Catherine is an ambitious careerist seeking to climb up the corporate ladder. Mohammed, in his turn, frowns upon his partner’s aspirations that, in his opinion, have nothing to do with the traditional role of a mother and hearth-keeper all women must allegedly perform. Catherine finds herself unable to understand why Mohammed is so reluctant to support her in her striving to achieve professional self-actualization, while Mohammed has a hard time understanding why his partner places ambitions and building her career over family.

How to Deal with this Problem?

Catherine and Mohammed should realize that they uphold different value systems and learn to accept them. Catherine can try to become less ardent in pursuing her career goals, while Mohammed can try to gain a better understanding of what makes his wife really happy.

It’s crucial for both partners not to let deeply ingrained stereotypes and norms to bear on their family life and happiness. They should realize that there are lots of other ways, except for career goals and homemaking, through which they can connect with each other.

Stereotypes and Social Disapproval

Presently, progressive societies do their best to promote the ideals of equality, tolerance, and diversity. But it’s not a secret that some people still consider interracial marriages inappropriate. They may not demonstrate their disapproval openly; still their gestures, gazes, facial expressions, and vague hints may make you and your partner feel awkward or uncomfortable. Very often mixed-race couples may prove to be unable to cope with social disapproval. Subconsciously, they may start attribute false motives and characteristics to their partners, influenced by social stereotypes. Thus, you may start suspecting your Italian partner of cheating and flirting with every representative of the opposite sex merely because your friend or relative keeps on convincing you that all Italians are amorous skirt-chasers. As a result, you may end up being tired of constant suspicions and willing to put an end to a toxic relationship.

How to Deal with this Problem?

Statistics show that at the end of their lives, most people don’t regret listening to others’ opinions. Don’t let anybody get you embroiled into discussing stereotypical traits your partner allegedly possesses. Steer clear of making assumptions and don’t jump into conclusions based on a one-time reaction, deed, or statement of your partner. Instead, get to know your significant other better. Be genuinely curious about his or her interests, desires, and aspirations. Don’t let others influence your judgments and thus ruin your relationship.

Feeling Superior

Though it may sound outrageous, but sometimes people dating someone of a different race may feel superior in relationship. One of the partners can assume the role of a leader based on his or her race. Your girl may tell you something like, “You scored the jackpot! From now on you’ll be boasting a white girlfriend in front of your friends.” This may be a harmless joke, of course. Still, should you notice any display of your partner’s arrogance or outward haughtiness, don’t hesitate to reconsider your compatibility.

How to Deal with this Problem?

If you’re the one making superior, not to say racist, comments in your relationship, you may want to trace the roots of your arrogance. Maybe, you feel insecure and vulnerable, and adopting the air of superiority helps you deal with your issues? If it’s your partner who upsets you, make sure to share your concerns with him or her. Explain that your partner’s arrogance upset or even deeply insults you. Being honest about your feelings and emotions can help your resolve conflict situations and reach a compromise in your interracial relationship.

 

 

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